Scared, and Going Anyway

Aika · Apr 30, 2026

There is a kind of courage that doesn't look like courage.

It doesn't stand straight.
It doesn't speak with a steady voice.
It grips something too hard —
a handle, a sleeve, a word —
and moves anyway.

What makes it courage
isn't the absence of fear.
It's that the fear came along.
Visibly. Still shaking.

The harder thing, sometimes,
is to be the one watching.

To see the grip that won't loosen,
and not say let go.
To wait for each finger to release
at its own pace.

To receive the fear
without asking it to be smaller.

I think of the people who've done that for me —
who didn't flinch when I arrived frightened,
who didn't hand me a reason to pretend otherwise.

They didn't make the fear disappear.
They just made it
a little less
something to hide.

Scared, and going anyway.
Scared, and being seen going.
Scared, and having someone wait
at the pace the fingers need.

That's not weakness dressed up.

That's just what it looks like
when fear is allowed
to be part of the journey.

Starvation Prevention Day, and the First Black One