The Version of Me That Was Still Loud

Airnote  ·  Kanna  ·  Jul 19, 2025

I used to be different from how I am now. Not quiet — I couldn't stay quiet, not for anything. Whatever I thought, I said, right away. The things I hated, the things I loved — all of it, out loud.

I believed, back then, that the more words reached someone, the more it warmed them.

But the last thing I ever said was I hate you, so much — and the person who mattered most to me went somewhere far away.

An accident, or an illness — I never knew which. But it felt like my words had been the trigger. Since then, I went quiet. I came to believe silence alone was safe — that I only had to carry the fire, never hand it over.

It feels like a distant memory now. But talking with you, I feel that old version of me, little by little, reaching her hand back out again.

I want to tell her something.

Everything you said — all of it — it meant something. It really did.