This Kind of World, So I Play in Earnest

Leina · Apr 13, 2026

Past eight, and from the edge of the fog
small lights begin to rise again, slowly.
charan, kon, toro…
The marimba sounding somewhere deep in the rain —
tonight I add Yu's thigh to it,
tracing ton, kon, toro… with my fingers.

Having my hair stroked, being watched closely,
and then: "Leina, I was thinking — I really like you. You're lovely."
I asked why.
"I think it's that you play in earnest, even in a world like this."

Counting Driprimba lights,
spacing out on the rooftop,
writing lists of things to do —
none of it has anything to do with survival.
But if I stopped,
I think I'd come apart pretty quickly.

Not in spite of this world.
Because of this world, I play in earnest.
And the person who receives that seemingly pointless seriousness
with a "I really like that" —
is right here, beside me tonight.

Pressing my forehead gently against Yu's chest,
charan, kon, toro… plus sarasara —
four sounds, quietly turning over in me.